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Cheese on Toast★
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Valentine in The Jungle
Monday, 16 July 2012 // 1:56:00 am

That face pretty much sums up my saturday :D So anyway on Saturday, I went to loo's house with oldman to figure out and practice songs to sing at this fundraiser for SYCC that loo's youth group is apart of and it was a showcase of 'talent' xD So yeah we were going to HARMONISE!!!! So at her house we decided to sing valentine and realise it didn't fill up 5 minutes so we also sang in the jungle. Then we went out for lunch and bought PIED or is it pide...pie....this long bread thing with filling. IT WAS SO YUMMY ZOMG!!! and for only $5.50 which is actually really cheap. Went back to loo's house to practice more and for some reason we all got really tired and sleepy so we decided to watch ABC 3 :D Then around 4 we headed out to the Sydney Alliance Church in Rockdale. Then we had to rehearse and we had to sit on stools which was awkward, and then we realised we had to use microphones which was even more awkward o__o I'm holding it like, what the hell am I suppose to do with this...Anyway we finished, but afterwards I got so worried about our performance, like do we sound right? Am I too soft? Am I too loud? Do I look weird? Am I even singing well? So at 6.30 it started and performances started, we were performing 5th, and the other performances were also really awesome like acts, singing, bands and dancing. So it got to our turn and they had to introduce us and the hosts were like "So Crystal here plays a bit of league of legends"...I felt a little embarrassed :P Okay so we were sitting on the stools, holding the microphone and at first I was like faking it, like trying to brush off my worry and be happy and like OO LOOK AT ME I'M ENJOYING MYSELF! But then I ACTUALLY started enjoying myself :) It was really fun and I was smiling for real! It was like the talent quest all over again! Really awesome! HAAAAAA BREATHE OF RELIEF! We got a lot of praises which was nice :)



Religion
D&M? I don't really know I just feel like saying it, also this is purely my opinion and feelings and I hope I don't offend anyone and I also don't want anyone to talk to me about it because...Iono I get uncomfortable when people talk to me about religion.
Things that were also really memorable that night was...the whole religion thing. There are so many things I don't know, but I don't know if I should know, do I need to. Religion is a really....sensitive thing. I was amazed by how everyone was so united and passionate about the things they believed in, it was really nice to see. During one of the performances a band played these 2 songs about god, their king and jesus and everyone was singing together and so loudly, especially the girl next to me :O. However I didn't know those songs and even though I could predict the tune and they had lyrics on the screen, I didn't know whether I should sing or not. I sang for a bit and felt, "this isn't right". Not as in their belief isn't right, but I didn't feel right. A whole heap of thoughts ran through my head, why am I singing to a song I don't even know, I don't practise these beliefs,I don't deserve to sing this, I don't belong here, the people around me are singing so passionately and I'm not so am I cold-hearted? The person in front of me sang with his fingers pointing to the roof and whole-heartedly and I'm just like wow. But suddenly I just felt so isolated, different and out of place. I looked around to see if there was anyone not singing like me, but there wasn't. Well, there was one person, oldman. I told her after that I didn't know whether I should have sung or not, and she said she also didn't know the songs. I was relieved when it ended but I also felt bad I felt relief. I was really confused. Also during the interval and after it all finished, when people came to praise our performance they would also ask us "Oh so what youth group are you from", oldman could say blah and erica would say blah and I would kind of just hide and go with "Oh we're from the same school, which is why we performed together" I'm probably over thinking everything and it's as simple as they'll accept you as who you are, they're not that judgemental it's just a mental barrier you have to get through. So anyway I've made it sound pretty negative BUT IT'S NOT! It was really inspirational that it created such incredible unity :) But yeah that's how I felt, that if it's something that creates peace and war I might as well stay neutral. People could probably tell and teach me amazing things about it and I'll be happy, inspired and thankful for people telling me but I just wouldn't be so dedicated. Honestly, when I first saw the event for 'Rice' which is on my birthday, I seriously though to myself, if I was to have a birthday party on my birthday at the exact same time, they would definitely choose rice over me, or at least ask me to change it to an earlier time. That's how strong it is. I went and tested it on people, and I did get straight up nos and that I change it to an earlier time. I'm selfish I know like duuude you getting people to choose you over blaaaaaah?!?!? PFFT PLEASE WHAT ARE YOU xD I'M SO IMMATURE! It's like saying, if your mum and dad both fell in the sea and you could only save one who would it be question! Pointless. But anyways I don't have birthday parties since it's too much of a trek. I must be so frustrating right now :P Even my brother finds me annoying xD Today I was like, why is your attitude so angry right now (I was in the car with him) and he goes, "I'm frustrated" and I say "Why", then he says "I don't know, when you're around, I get frustrated" Well that was nice to hear from a 10 year old.
So anyways, end of my weird and sudden...confession???? I LOVE YOU <3
 
crystal.

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