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Cheese on Toast★
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My opinion
Wednesday, 6 March 2013 // 7:23:00 pm

I'm assuming at least one of you guys will read my blog and it will be relayed to the rest of the group. I want to say everything here because I'm not good at it in person and having everyone's eyes on me and I'm a lot calmer behind a screen and I can't say it on facebook because it won't let me write this much.

I probably don't need to write any of this and I'm over thinking everything or taking it too seriously but that's the type of person I am, I become observant and tend to over analyse situations when that's not even the case but even if I'm wrong I going to say everything because it's become stressful for everybody and me particularly when it shouldn't be. I'm going to come off as extremely selfish/annoying/stubborn/blunt and like WHY ARE YOU THINKING LIKE THIS or something I don't even know but yeah that's just how it is. And because I'm pretty confused myself this post might too. So yeah after this I just want to stop thinking about it.

I don't know where to start.

Well, I'm finding I want to object to everything because that's just how I feel, if no one objects what if some problems occurs when we actually get there and have to deal with it then and ruin our time there. I've been opinionated because at the beginning I felt if I'm not, who will, but now that we've developed some bases and people are starting to participate rather than one person organising everything because my sister told me how stressful it was for her to organise everything and satisfy everyone, it's good. I understand we will make sacrifices and I won't be 100% satisfied, I won't be extremely hurt if my preferences aren't met so you can speak aloud if there's something concerning me and you don't have to be careful with your words, I'm not that sensitive...or maybe I am. I just dislike going around in circles and not being direct which is probably why I'm being opinionated about it all. I feel like I am the majority of the consideration that has been taken account and my satisfaction, also Renae's. So anyways, the specifics, yes I am part of the group that wants to be outside and go on activities therefore PREFERABLY it's close to civilisation and not in the middle of nowhere, PREFERABLY if I can just walk to places majority of the time and not need a car. PREFERABLY don't want to go to the blue mountains to walk through caves, ride in a cable car thing and hike the same mountains I hiked in year 6. PREFERABLY not Wallis lakehouse because of transport issues and seclusion.. PREFERABLY parents aren't there because the whole point of this trip is to do something ourselves away from everything and yeah they decided to come themselves so they should entertain themselves, but I don't feel comfortable ignoring adults who are going to help us do things and semi look after us,  because I'd feel disrespectful. Yes my own issues and if I don't get over it then peeps probably can't come so ignore that when it comes to decision making.

ULTIMATELY, I will go with the majority, if most of us want to go to blah then I'll go to blah because the reason we're doing this is because we want to go and do things as a group and enjoy everything in the accompany and comfort of everyone. But then why would I have so many issues if ultimately all I want is to be with everyone...I don't know because I'm selfish and want to have a type of fun others necessarily don't? Maybe it's because everyone else is so 'I don't mind' that my objections ARE the only things to think about hence why it's so difficult. I DON'T KNOW I JUST WANT PEOPLE TO STOP CONSIDERING ONLY ME because I'm not the majority I'm like 1/10 however I know it's not possible since we have to be thoughtful .But yeah if I get asked for my opinion I'm just going to say it as it is. Anyways I don't know what my objective of this post was anymore because probably overall I'm just annoyed and need to let it all out before school, stress and everything else does my head in, I don't need to feel this way because going and organising a group trip is suppose to be a fun experience. I'm a difficult person to satisfy and I know you know I'm dissatisfied but atm there's nothing you can do about it so just go with what the majority says and ignore me. But by me saying that it's going to have a opposite effect SEE WHAT I SAID ABOUT OVER ANALYSING THINGS. I'm going to stop before I get even more complicated when I'm not. So anyways during discussions I might zone out or try to avoid it because I've already said what I wanted to say unless I really do have some opinion about it and I don't want to worry about anything until after half yearlies. I just want everything to be over and sleep peacefully. I feel for you prefects and captains who have things to organise for 150 people :(

The End.

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