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Cheese on Toast★
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Saturday, 14 September 2013 // 3:47:00 pm

Don't make everyone know about yours sadness"  
MY ASS JOHN STEINBECK! What do you want us to do, to consume it and let it roll around in your intestines for a bit and just fart it out the other end POOF and away it goes? NO because it doesn't come out the other end straight away, it'll stay inside for I don't how long and conglomerate until one day YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE DIARRHEA as in....EVERYTHING COMES OUT ALL AT ONCE! and as you can imagine, that is terrible for your butt. You know why else JOHN that it is NOT GOOD to NOT LET others around you know about your sadness, because the people around you ARE NOT DUMB PEOPLE and can probably tell already SOMETHING IS NOT RIGHT, so by not making people know YOU'RE MAKING THEM WORRY EVEN MORE YA POOP! OKAY MR STEINBECK?

Okay to be honest I don't know where that quote is from, nor who John Steinbeck is  and I've probably taken it out of context but it popped on my tumblr and as soon as I saw it I hated it. Don't feel bad 'person who reblogged it' because this is purely my own opinion. This is probably because I complain and whine and show my sadness or whatever negative emotion I have all the time, SO JOHN you want me to not make everyone know? NO! Anyways I've managed to put in poop and farts and toilet analogies there which I'm quite proud of 8)

Speaking of sadness, there is a sadness I shall let EVERYONE YES EVERYONE KNOW JOHN because HERE IT IS ON MY BLOG anyways I'm only saying it because it doesn't affect me anymore since everything is ending soon. So ehem...ew...I was just thinking about the procedure of how I was going to write and it's going sound like a belonging thing YIEWWWWWWWWWWW So anyways uhhhh so about every since year.......9? or 10...when I dropped music as an elective, because it was something I chose because I liked but dropped because I knew I didn't have the skills or technicalities or however you word it for it to be one of my subjects for hsc. I mean dude, the only tutorials I had were from primary school and I used my like grade 3 piano pieces for an assessment in yr 8 which I played in like year 3 LOL So ya. So throughout year 10-12. countless of times have I had someone say to me "ooooooh you don't do music?, I thought you did or you look like someone who would". At first I didn't mind, but then eventually it kind of made me wish I kind of still did because then I wouldn't need to have felt like such an outsider. Now how I felt like an outsider. So I'm in concert band still right, so it still feels in some way I'm intact and connected to music and of course being a part of band has been one of the most amazing experiences ever with the most incredible people who share it with me. So, although I'm in band, I don't do music, and that's where the rift is. Obviously this isn't anyone's fault because in no way does anyone have an intention to exclude, buuuuuuut it's just what goes through the minds of people like me. So the music students and by music students I mean those who actually chose music as an elective, formed an extremely closed-knit bond/family, and we say we have that in band too, but somehow I didn't really feel part of it. I guess it's because I miss out on things, eventually don't understand things, or not get let in on things, not that I really have a right to know, but you know just, I'm in it, yet it feels so far. I remember going to Soiree and it was so much more emotional than gala, like even for me I felt so proud of everyone. Also I guess I felt being pushed out a bit. Like the other day the music students were having a meeting and I was only joking when I said "oh can I chime!" but I got a very blunt and defensive, no. Like I don't know, the tone and the way it was said, was similar to last year when I jokingly asked if people would go celebrate my birthday with me over rice thingy and there was a very blunt, no. I don't know, it was hurtful. But once again everything is unintentional so I can't blame anyone. Jealousy? Probably. Yeah I won't understand how they feel, wish I could though. Well I guess that's all of it! On the bright side I won't be as sad because I'm not involved?  I was, but not excited about monday anymore :( I feel like the end to the year isn't epic enough.

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