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Cheese on Toast★
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Little Steps
Saturday, 19 October 2013 // 10:34:00 am

I guess another day/thought diary this shall be.

I feel sick, especially in the stomach, I'm not sure from what, but lately when I eat I feel uncomfortable and my appetite has gotten smaller so when I eat something remotely more than I should it feels terrible, and this smoke also makes me feel sick. I don't feel vomitty but I sure hope I do or something because I suddenly feel like I'm suffocating. What is the Hsc doing to my boooody.

Just 5 hours, I only need to focus for 5 hours and then I can go and finish what I didn't finish yesterday because right now I need it more than ever 

I need to try harder.

I think going out to the library everyday has given me more self control at home, I don't crave lol, or play for the sake of playing because I won't want to do what I'm suppose to and I don't go through my bookmarks a billion times to avoid doing what I'm suppose to be doing and I don't rewatch YouTube videos I have already seen and I don't scroll through tumblr forever.  It's just that going out here everyday IS COSTLY.

It's getting noisy, I can't concentrate.

Getting sleepy, 4 hours of sleep is not ideal =_= I'm going to go sleep at darling harbour somewhere after this
I need a break.

Almost got ran over by a car but okay.

Wow, I can't believe it, as I was leaving the library I saw, lets say once a best friend but has drifted to  childhood friend. I was so surprised to see her because I had not talked to her or hung out with her ever since she started university. When we started talking it was so casual, she hasn't changed at all, still the friendly quirky person she is. Her friends were extremely nice people too. If only I could be like them when I meet new people. Coincidentally seeing her again reminds me of how long its been since I've used the term best friend for someone. I've only used the term close friend ever since high school. I think it's because I'm scared if I term someone my best friend, they'll end up like my other best friends in the end. Distant. Another one of my biggest regrets of my life is not having maintained closeness with 2 people from my childhood. We had known each other from the moment we were born and spent our childhood together, with sleepovers that went for a week, and we went to darling harbour all the time, watched the new year fireworks together every year although we lived far away from each other, everytime we met we just picked up from where we left off. Just then we did pick up from where we left off, but something was different, and it made me sad because I looked at her and thought, this is what's happening at this moment, I was looking at a very near future right in front me. It reminded me, I'm gradually watching another friendship slip by. How many times do I have to go through this. Nevertheless it was still really nice talking to her again.  

Yay I got a free boost 

I just realised the first thing she said when she saw me wasn't hi, it was 'are you okay?'

Ah I never got to finish this because my phone blogger stuffed up again, but I wrote in my notes, "I saw the same street performer dude from the day i got 'kidnapped'"

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