milk and honey

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Cheese on Toast★

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Saturday, 5 October 2013 // 11:41:00 am

It's like we're reversed now

Today I learnt about Rumination. Hmmmm, I think I am somewhat relieved I know the term now of what's going on in my head.
http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200304/the-rumination-rut
http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200304/its-the-thought-counts

Also reading this lead me to what I have written below
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/anxiety-files/201007/why-thought-stopping-doesn-t-work

Okay so you guys should know by now, my way of expressing things has always been here because of my unwillingness to confront people, so I felt like I had to list down the negative things that have been popping in my head lately because if I bottle them/bury them and let it overflow/come back alive uglier, I'll go insane, and I really needed to write them somewhere as a temporary relief and long term relief so when I come back to it and reflect and I can think "Geez Crystal you were such a retard for thinking that way", hopefully. Somehow I managed to stay relatively positive recalling the negative things, I think that's a good sign, I guess this is also a good way of letting people know what's in my mind without having to tell them because explaining when being asked directly makes me feel insecure yet I want to explain, so yah, and it's easier for me and easier for others to see how I'm going. I understand my negative thoughts can be hurtful or frustrating, but please understand, I really need to get them out and bear with me, I'm trying to stop myself from becoming worse, and hopefully let myself focus on other things. Also please don't feel like a need to respond to any of these things, even if you do, it won't alleviate anything, well at least I don't think so, nevertheless do what you think is necessary, help yourself first.

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