I surprisingly had a really good time at the bsoc cruise. I wasn't sure how it would go like would I be crazy or sit down and just talk. I was stupid and brought my student ID instead of my license lol. That was interesting when they were checking. As soon as I got on the boat we got shouted drinks lewl. I had a Smirnoff thing, it was really nice lol, it was just like fizzy drink. I didn't feel anything obviously like it was just one drink, but I kind of gave myself the illusion this alcoholic drink has elevated my mood and I was really happy and I just went crazy with the dancing. I literally danced for 3/4 of the night like woo energy! I didn't even think I would be like that, but once you get into it and you don't care about anything else it's just weeeee dance dance dance yeaaaah. Dancing with the same group of people for a while eventually gets boring I found. You have to migrate. I should remember he people I met...but I don't. One thing I did notice though, because for some reason I only met guys today, no wait there was one girl, but anyways I noticed the different roughness of their hands and the size. Am I creepy lol. Anyways some were so extremely rough and dry it was eugh. Yes I'm being judgmental through hands haha. Nah it's not like I'm going to touch their hands ever again. Most confusing moment of the night was when Kevin whom I just met, when he came to dance next to me he introduced me to his friend next to him, but they were making weird glances to each other and he was making weird gestures to him and he was like what...I tried to dissolve the awkward reluctance thing and introduced myself, only that he couldn't hear properly and thought my name is Rachel. I just gave up lol. Omg also when I was with these other 2 guys I met and they were like let's play a game, and I'm thinking oooooh I know where this is going, "Depends on the game", "Okay, scissors paper rock, if you win, you can slap him, if you lose, he gets a peck on the lips". I KNEW IT LOL. Anyways, overall a good night, met cool people, had fun with friends and my feet are dead. OH that's right another story. So this guy was like HEY CRYSTAL! and I'm looking at him like...crap...he's really friendly to me....I don't remember him...how can I forget a friendly face, I was fully in panic mode for a split second until Sam said it was Fahim. SO I was like OOOOOOH OMG I actually don't know what you look in real life hi! Then he gave me a big hug lol, he's so friendly. OH ANOTHER STORY! So I was joking around with Chen like Oh yeah hey I remember you Chen and he was like yeeeeeah I remember you too! And then it just clicked, it just came to me and I remembered back in year 10 or 11 at the school dance, this big guy came around and was giving people free hugs and I remember hugging him, so I was like OMG I REALLY DO REMEMBER YOU and explained to him what I remembered and he said yeah that was him haha and we hugged again xD Funny.

Yeah I couldn't contain my laughter so I turned around to snicker. How obvious could that person be though lol. I didn't know guys drop hints so obviously like that, like really? "Yeah see how important you are to me?", *ruffles head*, constantly checking up on her and wanting to see her, OH LOOK WHAT A COINCIDENCE THAT YOU BUMPED INTO US! Complains she doesn't pick up her phone when he called her 7 times. SEVEN TIMES YOU CALLED HER 7 TIMES? He's going to become possessive if he doesn't just outright say something and get rejected already lols. Do guys drop hints in hope the girl will confess because he preferably doesn't want to or they drop hints to first like get them prepared so when he does confess is a higher a chance of not getting a rejection? I don't know how that works but yeah I don't understand guys dropping hints. With girls it's obvious, they want the guy to confess. There's that social expectation for a guy to take initiative and ask a girl out first...so when they drop hints it's like, yeah confess to me please...? LOL Ahhhh social expectations, be a man and chaaaaaarge!

I have a feeling he's mistaken that...mmmm, I don't want that misunderstanding because the other person would feel extremely awkward and me too probably and then things would become weird.

Holy shiz he can sing :O

I couldn't muster enough courage to say it, sigh.  I have a feeling very soon, one day, I will regret not outwardly saying how I feel. I probably need to be drunk to say it. Will I ever is a better question.

I didn't know whether I was suppose to lie or tell the truth. So I lied. I feel like I've betrayed that person in a way. But I knew, if I told the truth then that person would definitely be angry at me. Look at me with the same eyes they had with someone else. I don't want them to deal with someone like that all over again. They've endured enough. It's better they don't know.