This woman is asking me to help her get rid of the dependent face of her soul. But that would be a move against her soul. The fact that her dependency is making itself felt doesn't mean it should be bludgeoned or surgically removed; it may be asserting itself because it needs attention. Her heroic championing of independence might be a way of avoiding and repressing the strong need of something in her to be dependent. I try offering some words of dependence that don't have the connotations of wimpiness that seem to bother her. Don't you want to be attached to people, learn from them, get close, rely on friendship, get advice from someone you respect, be part of a community where people need each other, find intimacy with someone that is so delicious you can't live without it? You can't have it without its shadows: its neediness, inferiority, submission and loss of control. At times we live in these caricatures, thinking we are being masochistically dependent, when we actually are doing is avoiding deep involvement with people, society and life in general.